How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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