just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
