I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
