The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
