Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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