Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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