he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
