Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
