why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
