i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
