i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
