Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
