its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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