Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
