The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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