so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Soap is not a condiment
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
