windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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