Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
