u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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