Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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