office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
