and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
