the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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