super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
