its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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