Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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