my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
