If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
