He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
