If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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