If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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