Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
