playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
