One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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