are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
