my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
