DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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