question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
