I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
