i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
