On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
