Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
