My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
