I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
