He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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