Whod you bang
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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