RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
