I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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