..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
