it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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