what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
