In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Randomize
